Families considering an independent, college-preparatory school education for their child face a daunting decision. It’s a big deal to select a school for your child, and a significant financial commitment. Here are six tips to consider when looking for an independent school.
1. Take online ratings with a grain of salt.
Internal surveys of private schools show that most parents are highly pleased with their child’s educational experiences. Happy, busy parents rarely take time out of their over-full schedules to initiate online reviews. Online, anonymous ratings are completely unmoderated. It is tempting for an atypical, disgruntled parent to lash out by trashing the school in an online forum, kind of like the inverse of online product/service ratings posted by someone from the company. I’ve read some harsh online comments (for schools where I know the situation) that were made by parents whose child was asked to leave the school for behavioral or other reasons. In another situation, the “parent” review was written by a fired employee. There is a good chance that an anonymous, online trashing of a school is motivated by something the writer doesn’t disclose. Five or ten online comments posted over several years, compared to the hundreds of families that may have sent children to the school over the same time period, is certainly not a fair representation of the school. So, read the online comments, but maintain healthy skepticism. Instead, seek out the perspectives of several current parents, asking them about the school’s strengths and weaknesses.
2. Shop for fit, not for the college list.
Most independent, college-preparatory schools will feature a college list showcasing a great range of private and public colleges and universities that accepted the school’s graduates. The reality is that most independent schools in the United States offer an excellent education and will support your child’s application to any college she or he is qualified to attend. Most every college-preparatory independent school has a good, if not exceptional, college counseling support program - it is a prep school’s stock and trade. Families at Sandy Spring Friends School, for example, are provided appropriate, timely college counseling information and services starting in 8th grade, with individual attention ramping up right through the critical junior and senior years. Such a process helps students identify colleges that are good matches to the individual student’s interests and talents.
However, independent schools have widely varying school cultures. Think instead about the kind of school community that will help your child thrive throughout their pre-college years. Some schools are academic pressure-cookers, where the number of AP’s and the number of elite college acceptances are the social currency among students and families. Other schools have particularly strong athletics cultures where competitive athletes may thrive but non-athletes might feel marginalized. Look for elements of a school’s culture and values that validate your child. We each only get one childhood. School should not be something your child endures now for some future prize. Seek an environment that will help your child thrive during their school years. Thriving now is your child’s best preparation for their future.
3. Put social-emotional preparation on an equal footing with academic preparation.
College completion rates have been declining for years - less than half of students enrolling in four-year institutions earn their bachelor’s degree in four years. Part of the problem stems from students being unprepared for the social and emotional demands of college. College students need to now only know how to study, they need to know how to get along, how to collaborate, be resilient in the face of new, unforeseen challenges or situations, and make good decisions about priorities. Successful college students know how to resist peer pressure and how to gracefully advocate for themselves without mom or dad blocking and tackling. Students learn these skills by experiencing them, and your child’s preparatory school should teach this in vivo. When assessing an independent school, look at what they do to prepare students (at all age levels) for independence, to help students find their voice. Evaluate the nature of student teacher interactions and the school’s culture, not only formal “life skills” programs. Are students given a voice in real decisions and meaningful leadership opportunities, or is there an emphasis on mere compliance?
4. Be honest with the school.
Sometimes parents feel the need to omit important information about their child in the application process, even misinform a school. The loser in these situations is always the child. At one school, the parents failed to inform the school about their child’s seizure disorder, out of fear that their daughter would not be admitted. The school learned about the child’s condition when the child had a serious seizure at school. The child’s condition would not have affected the child’s enrollment, but the parent’s failure to disclose left the school unprepared and placed the child at risk. I have seen several situations where parents resisted sharing information about learning disabilities or other diagnosed conditions that significantly informed a child’s learning needs. A parent’s hesitation is understandable, but misguided. Instead, seek to develop a partnership with your child’s school. If your child has health or learning needs, be up-front during the admissions process. This way, school staff is in the best position to discuss the supports they can offer. If your child’s situation is poorly received by the school, do you really want him or her enrolled there, anyway? If the school responds candidly about their inability to properly support your child, it is better to learn this before committing to tens of thousands in tuition dollars, or worse, setting the stage for a discouraging and demoralizing school year for your child.
Better yet, seek schools that openly embrace support programs aligned with your child’s needs. Many college-preparatory independent schools have high quality, individualized academic support programs, social programs, and other programs that help meet your child where they are. Some independent schools combine college preparation with a mission to meet the needs of special student populations. Again, school cultures vary widely; seek a school culture that is in harmony with who your child actually is. Think about the environment that will help your child thrive, not just survive.
5. Visit the school and ask questions.
Your best sense of a school and its culture will come from visiting. If you are seriously considering a school, visit more than once. Definitely attend the open house when the school will put its best foot forward, but also see if you can visit on a day when the school is in session - many schools offer this opportunity. If you like what you see, have your child visit. Most schools will provide opportunities to shadow a peer for a few hours or a day, depending on your child’s age. Ask questions that allow the school an opportunity to highlight its strengths. Write your questions down in advance. Here are three to consider:
- On what topics has faculty professional development focused in the past three years? If you get blank stares, go elsewhere. Schools should focus professional development efforts on strengthening the student’s classroom experience and creating a learning environment consistent with the school’s mission. If the school can’t articulate its faculty’s professional development work, it’s a sign they may not have their eye on the ball.
- How is technology used to improve student learning at my child’s age level? Most schools will have technology tools around and many will feature one-to-one programs, but listen for how teachers and students are actually using information technology to enhance learning.
- What are examples of how my child would be exposed to open-ended challenges? A growing body of research supports the need for students of all ages to experience authentic, open-ended challenges, instead of a steady diet of cookbook learning where outcomes are predetermined.
6. Don’t let the price tag scare you away.
Like colleges and universities, independent schools find themselves offering more financial aid to more families. The cost of an independent or parochial school education has risen significantly over recent decades; these self-contained schools are subject to many of the same economic and market pressures as colleges. If you are new to independent school education, expect sticker shock. However, don’t give up too quickly - most independent schools seek to make their education affordable to more than just the wealthy. This makes good business sense and also good educational sense. Ask about financial aid opportunities. Explore scholarship opportunities from third party organizations (there are some available). Most schools seek multifaceted diversity (socio-economic, cultural/ethnic, talent, interests, etc.) and may want to attract diversity that your child represents. That said, schools expect parents of all income levels to be willing to make a financial sacrifice for their child’s education. Schools will not use their financial aid dollars to underwrite your expensive car, second house, or fancy vacation. If you live a “comfortable” lifestyle, don’t expect generous financial aid offers.
Click to edit your new post...