The One About Integrity

Posted by Tom Gibian on Nov 11, 2010 5:25:53 AM

Quakers have a history of non-conformity. After all, our Society of Friends was formed out of a heartfelt calling to separate from a dominant, dominating, and very hierarchical culture which prevailed in 17th Century England. It all springs from a fairly simple notion: that there is that of God within each person. From here, we can connect the dots to a few other basic Quaker principals. Since the Truth is within each person, it can be discerned by individuals without intermediation from priests or clerics. Divine revelation continues even after the publication of scripture. We’re not as smart as we thought we were. OK I made the last one up, but I still believe that whenever we think we have The Answer, it is a good time to look around and place great value on the experiences that others have had, even (or particularly) when that experience is different from our own. Just saying.

It befuddles me that Quaker values are so universal, and yet you will drive past many, many churches and temples and mosques whereever you start out from on your way to the nearest Quaker Meeting House. In some ways, it can be difficult when you opt to strip away most of the rules and opt for non-conformity. There is a wonderful little book called How the Irish Saved Civilization which makes the point that Irish monks during the Dark Ages, marginalized to the point of near extinction, clinging to the west coast of Ireland where no one bothered to go after them, busily set out to preserve the world’s great ideas by meticulously copying down, word for word, books that had lost all sense of value in the rest of Europe. So I think (much more modestly then it likely sounds), that those of us participating in the communities that form around Quaker schools can be among those that keep certain ideas intact, alive and imbued with meaning in our rapidly-changing and confusing era. No real need to copy books, as that was the trick that saved civilization the last time, and now we have Google. Instead, we can practice integrity in our lives every day. We can shock our parents by telling them the truth even when we broke a rule, caused some mischief and it would be easier to blame someone or something else for our predicament. We can tell our students (yes, in an age appropriate way) about the adversity that made us the person we have become. We can tell colleagues that it is our rotting food that is in the communal refrigerator. We can teach ourselves not to go through a litany of possible answers before getting to the one that happens to be the truth.

Quakers invented price tags. Before price tags, things cost whatever the buyer and seller agreed upon at the moment of the sale. You couldn’t send your kid down the block for a carton of milk because your kid, most likely, was not a match for the store proprietor when it came to negotiating a price. When Quaker merchants actually put the price on things it was an act of radical non-conformity. It increased knowledge, transparency, fairness and, yes, integrity in the world. Now almost everyone does it but car dealerships.

It is important to get into the practice of being honest. Whether you tell your great aunt that her hat doesn’t look so good is too Talmudic a question for this blog. You will find your own way. But you will acquire no more powerful an asset in life then your being able to say, with complete integrity: You can count on what I have told you to be the truth. I affirm.

Topics: Head of School Blog

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