2013 Graduation Remarks
I think of a day like today as a “Before and After Day.” Before and After Days are not like other days. Before a Before and After Day you have one perspective on life. The next day it changes, and it never returns to the old way. But it will change again. “Perspective” is a moving target. In that way, it is a little bit like “understanding,” in that understanding does not stand still; it is not frozen in time. Perspective and understanding both change, deepen and sharpen.
The way we develop perspective is through an iterative process. Often in life, we find ourselves going in a certain direction until there is an obstacle; think of it as a boulder in the road. Plans don’t work out. Expectations are not met. We are disappointed. Our boyfriend breaks up with us by text message. We don’t get our first choice in college. Or, perhaps, we gird ourselves for a tough slog and, instead, we find ourselves on an easy, downhill ride. That’s a different way for things to not work out the way we expect. Our fast ball has extra zip; we have been sitting with our guitar and suddenly the lyrics come to us, fully written and capturing exactly the sentiment we wish to express and we don’t even know how or why. It turns out that the person you have been secretly admiring has the exact same feelings for you. You can hardly believe it.
So we can get knocked off the path, and sometimes it feels like stepping in a puddle, and sometimes it causes us to look up and see an amazing rainbow. But one thing is for sure: the planet is big, and life is meant to astonish, and so, to see things clearly and in focus, it is vital to vary your perspective, to move around, to see things from different angles.
At some point, if it has not already happened, you will be sitting in a meeting with colleagues discussing a problem or an issue or an opportunity and somebody will say, “Let’s take a 30,000 foot view of the situation.” In other words, let’s get out of the weeds, let’s think outside of the box, let’s try to see the problem from a different vantage point, a different perspective. And while the expression of gaining altitude may seem a bit worn, there is truth to it.
In education these days, we often hear about the importance of a global education. Global education is rooted in the understanding that it is important to see life through the prism of different cultures, different philosophies, different languages and different experiences. A good synonym for a “global education” is a Sandy Spring Friends School education. Think about the global education you experienced here: the rapid and brilliant changes of perspective that continue to inform and guide you in life. In Kindergarten, you researched your family heritages and found out about all the other heritages among your classmates, so different and yet so the same. In first grade, you learned about Inuit cultures; in third grade, you took the lead in tracking UNICEF donations in math class; in fourth grade, you went on the Oregon Trail; in fifth grade, you made and decorated ceramic bowls raising your awareness of homelessness. In Middle School, you formed, joined and led committees; put on diversity events; traveled to Gettysburg and Assateague; began to be empowered to take action for civic, societal and global improvement. In Upper School, you have had full immersion in global competencies as you travelled to Sandy Spring to come to high school or welcomed those who came from long distances to your school and their new home. You went on Intersession trips; continued to learn new languages; sang, danced, made art, studied genetics, wrote poetry, built solar cars, played amazing music, scored goals, wrote myths, lost to the sophomores in tug of peace, belted out show tunes, sponsored meatless Mondays, and celebrated holidays that are part of your family traditions and others that were new to you. Your lives already are speaking, clearly and with conviction as you have learned to see things from different vantage points, different perspectives. Your education, so far, has given your voice resonance and pitch. You will let your lives speak by giving voice to those whose voices aren’t heard.
Now that Tina and I are empty nesters, we actually watch TV some evenings. I don’t like very many shows, but one that I have grown increasingly fond of is “The Big Bang Theory.” It is all about perspective. Each show begins with a time line that starts with the Big Bang and then accelerates through space time and geologic time until it gets to historic time, and, passing a few generals and presidents, Einstein and others that the Quiz Bowl folks can probably identify, you get to the show’s cast sitting in the living room. One recent episode was about how Sheldon didn’t know how to appropriately express his congratulations to Leonard for getting to work on a project with Stephen Hawkings. So Penny tells him about how she congratulated a friend who was selected, instead of her, for a toothpaste commercial. They discuss whether congratulating someone when you actually are feeling jealousy is telling a fib or an expression of genuine happiness for the other person. It turns out it can be either or both; it just depends on your perspective. On another episode, Howard is selected to travel in the space shuttle, but he is really awkward because he does not know how to allow his friends to enjoy his good fortune. Instead, he lords it over them. Even though he has been in outer space, his perspective somehow shrank. How important it is, in everyday life, to be able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. To change your perspective. To open the aperture. To let in more light.
I was reading a book about the influence Quakers have had on so many of the movements that have resulted in social justice in the United States. Prison reform, care of the mentally ill, relations with Native Americans, abolition, civil rights, non-violent peaceful resolution… it is a very long list. Others, of course, have supported these same causes, but not always for the same reason. Quakers support of abolition was based on the golden rule. Would you want to be a slave? Would you want your children to be slaves? The book I refer to, Friends In Deed by Susan Sachs Goldman, tells the story of George Fox going down to the docks to say good bye to a group of Quakers that included William Penn as they began their journey to America in 1682. These Quakers had been through a lot: many had been in jail, all had been harassed, and none were really welcomed in England. They were starting over, leaving for a wilderness. They were about to experience a massive change in perspective. Fox had the opportunity to share any number of ideas: farming tips or how to get along with roommates in close quarters. Instead, he told them that as they began anew facing challenges and opportunities, to remember to tend the garden in their own hearts, and by walking in the Light, the vines and lilies in their hearts would thrive. And this simple, peaceful message - full of integrity, community, equality and stewardship - said it all. Fox had bid the early Quakers to go well with a talk about SPICES. Amazing that almost everything that could be taught to those folks about medicine or agriculture or technology is, for the most part, obsolete; yet, 350 years later, the SPICES continue to ring true.
Perspective. To see the world as it is and as it could be - as, perhaps, it is meant to be. This is my last time being able to talk to you all before you leave this place. You are leaving not for the last time, I hope, but for the time being. So I want to do what all of your parents and other loving adults want to do. We want to take these last opportunities before you pack your bags to fill you with courage and conviction, with compassion and grace, with tenderness and toughness, with love and best wishes. With wisdom and perspective. So when we tell you it is going to be OK, we mean it. Just like we mean it when we tell you to come home whenever you need to, that we will always be here for you, and that we will leave the porch light on.
I congratulate all of the members of the Class of 2013, our senior class. And I recommend to you that each of you continue the work that you started here at Sandy Spring Friends School. It begins with remembering how very lucky you are, that there are precious few who have had the advantages of being part of a community as wonderful as you have made this one; where you are safe, where you are respected, where great things are expected of you, where you have learned to speak truth to power, and where you have begun the journey of life being inspired while inspiring all of us who will be watching you as your trajectories take you higher and higher. And as you climb, please remember to tend the garden within.